Category: Family

More on kids and grandkids

Welcome!

Last time, I talked some about one of my retirement ideas of more purposefully spending time with my daughters and granddaughters.
I wanted to delve into that one a little bit more because I think it is so important. In this day and age of crazy schedules, families going 10 different directions at all points of the day and night, and everyone just trying to make a life and a living, I feel that this connection is essential.

In the craziness of everyday life, we can all tend to feel isolated, afraid to admit uncertainties and outright fear. I remember feeling that way often, even though I did have a fantastic Mom who was always there for me until she passed away when I was 35. I am so glad to be here for my girls and grandgirls and try to be for them what my Mom was for me. I want to be there to listen, offer them hope and perspective from my longer time at this living business. I want to be open to them about my experiences in preparing for, and actual, retirement, both from the financial preparation perspective AND the emotional and expectation perspective, so that hopefully they learn from my positive and negative steps toward that phase in my life, and from all phases of my life.

I know how much I miss my Mom even now, and how much I wish I had more years with her. My family is not extremely long-lived, so I don’t have many expectations of living to 100. Therefore, I can’t be waiting and putting off these opportunities to make sure my daughters and granddaughters know their history and their strengths, hearing some suggestions on handling adversity and just knowing they aren’t alone on the journey. But, definitely to one reader’s point, getting those times together can be tricky, just due to the craziness of life! I think our best bet is to be very intentional and plan ahead as much as possible…even then of course, flexibility will be key!

Today was a little heavier than most blogs…but I felt this was important food for thought. I think it is our responsibility to provide a listening ear along with imparting both the good and bad of our experiences to our children and grandchildren so they can look back when something is going on for them and know that someone understood.

Next time, a little lighter, I promise!
Mary

Purpose with children and grandchildren

Hello again! I am glad you are back!

I thought today I would home in on another “purpose” idea that is big for me as I am sure it is for you if you have children and/or grandchildren; that is, being more engaged with them when I have more time.

We have two adult daughters and two granddaughters, one about to leave her teenage years, and one just entering them. First of all, how in the world did that even happen? LOL! I don’t believe I am old enough to have an almost 20 year old granddaughter…but I digress…(bet some of you wonder this same thing!)

We are lucky to have both of our daughters and granddaughters and son-in-law live close to us. We do see each other every little bit, and I go to my granddaughters’ events as often as I can. I communicate with my daughters at least by e-mail or text every day, and phone calls at least a few times a month. We all get along great, and I now consider my adult daughters to be my best friends. That is such a blessing because well, truth be told, while they were great kids overall, a few years were rough for us…and I am grateful we all came through it with the close relationship we all have with each other!

But, I would like to be able to actually SEE my daughters more often. Together and one-on-one. Family gatherings are wonderful, but it is hard to really talk to any one of them in depth when everyone is all together. They do seek my thoughts on many  situations, and I appreciate that…but actually being together individually will really help to home in on that ability so it isn’t as forced. I feel like I now have a bit more wisdom to impart, but it doesn’t come out well, and doesn’t get perceived well, when it is all a data-dump of ideas all at once. So, I intend to intentionally have more specific face time get togethers with them.

I would like to do the same thing with our granddaughters. Being 6 years apart, the are definitely in different worlds from each other, so again, one-to-one will definitely be more fruitful. I look forward to just hanging out, talking, doing some things together, and helping them to talk through their “stuff” and hopefully being able to learn from my own story. After all, while it is a different world I grew up in, I was a kid and a teenager once! And sometimes us grandparents can have an influence that parents can’t. I want to help support my daughter and son-in-law in their goals for their daughters.

So, my “purpose” will include more intentional relationship growth with both our daughters and granddaughters. Whether your children and/or grandchildren are local to you or not, I encourage you to think of ways to communicate with them regularly, face to face as often as possible, and through text, e-mail, phone and even perhaps Skype in between times. We have a lot of good experiences to share, and we need to pass along our family heritage to them.

So far, this “purpose” thing is looking good, but more ideas are bubbling in my head!

Have a great day!
Mary