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Lessons Learned

Welcome back!

Today I thought I would just summarize my “lessons learned” during my Roatan vacation! It was a great experience for me, and an eye-opener! I hope my list of lessons learned helps you to sort through some of your ideas about your retirement planning. They may or may not apply directly to you, but they hopefully will help you to think about whether they do apply, whether the opposite applies, or something in between.

 – While I want time freedom, I also need some structure.
 –  Writing out my thoughts has helped gel what I am thinking I want my retirement to be, and to sort through some of the little things that I hadn’t really considered before.
 – Even though Dave was diving for most of our time here, I realized that, in real life, he and I will be together more than we ever had been. We need to make our relationship as a couple be a high priority.
-  Though I haven’t written about it yet, even though our “coupleness” is important, our individuality is also important, so we need to be sure those needs are also planned for.
 – I want to take time to grow my relationship with my daughters and granddaughters, using the time I still have to leave a legacy of family, faith, responsible living, fun and love.
-  I want to grow my own relationship with Jesus Christ more fully, so I live in great anticipation of who I will meet when He finally calls me home!

I hope more ideas than these have been flowing through your mind as you have walked through this set of my blogs! These all come from when I had the time to really think. I hope you have that same opportunity, but even if you can’t get away for a week right now or in the near future, try to block out an hour or so just for you each week and write down your thoughts. Remember, neither your list nor general “thoughts” journals need to be shared with anyone unless you want to, and you are not committing yourself to anything by writing them…you are just starting the process of making sure you don’t wake up on your first retired morning and saying “Now what?” OR, even if your retirement is a ways down the road, these times to think and write things down will help you so you don’t wake up one morning and realize you aren’t doing anything you want to do other than work, eat, sleep, repeat. Writing things down is VERY empowering to help you get your sights set on what you want to accomplish in your life, both before AND after retirement!

There will be one more blog from my Roatan experience after this, but after that, my next blogs will be from when I am back in the trenches of real life…work, home, etc. But, the day I went back to work after my Roatan vacation it was 7 months till my Retirement Date in October (but from date of actual posting, is only about 2.5 months!) That will hopefully keep me going!

Take care!
Mary

Changing retirement ideas

Hello everyone, and welcome back!

The day I wrote this was our last full day in Roatan. So that means settling up accounts, packing, and doing the last stuff we want to do. It was wonderful break, full of discovery for me, full of diving for Dave.

As I was paying the bill at the dive shop, the resort managers were there on the dock, and I started talking with them. They are a 60-something couple who I knew hadn’t been there as managers too long. I asked them how long and found out about THEIR retirement story…and since it is interesting and proves up something that I think is good to realize, I wanted to tell you some of their story today.

The husband-manager was an engineering teacher for 35 years. The wife-manager was the administrator of a crisis teen center. In their later years they started learning about ecology, and got involved with a seminar group, speaking around the world about those issues. That brought them to the attention of the resort we were at, along with having come here as guests and “mentioning” they might consider retirement sometime in the near future. They got a call from the resort a few years ago reminding them of their retirement remark and were asked if they might be ready to retire now… and if they could come to host the seahorse festival during the entire month of November. They decided it was a great opportunity and so they did retire. The invitation then expanded to some other time frames so that they eventually spent about 12 weeks a year here doing special fun educational events.

Next up, they were asked if they would like to live in Roatan full time and MANAGE the resort! Quite the turn of events! They agreed and have been here now about 5 months full time.

I think this interesting story shows that, even if you retire, you may end up with other opportunities presenting themselves!

I really don’t think this is the end of their retirement story, however, based on our conversation. They are enjoying their role, but he remarked that he realized he really is not “retired” any more, since this managerial position for them both is a 24/7 situation, with lots to do to keep things running, improvements to make, etc. My personal opinion is this might last a couple of years, then perhaps they will go back to their fun ecological education seminars when they want to do them….OR, who knows?

The point is, retirement means a lot of different things to people. I don’t think too many of today’s retirees think of the old traditional “rocking on the front porch” version of this period in their lives anymore. I certainly don’t! My list shows that I have lots of plans for my “golden years!” I hope your list is helping you define what you want your retirement to be! And, if rocking on the porch sounds divine to you, that is great! But I think this story of these resort managers shows that retirement may change over time, from slower paced to a little more active to perhaps a whole new career, and back again! Keep your mind open to possibilities and to what you want to make of your retirement!

More next time, see you then and have a wonderful rest of your day!
Mary

More things on my list

Happy day to you! Thanks for checking back in!

I hope that you can tell by now, by various general references, that Dave and I are Christian. Our faith is very important to us, and we have been very active in church through most of our married lives.

We both did step down from leadership positions in our church nearly a year ago, as we felt the Lord leading us to take a break and prepare for this retirement phase of our lives. We have enjoyed this break, but we both know that the Lord still has things for us to do.

Another item on my list is more personal Bible study. Dave and I enjoy morning devotionals together, I lead a women’s Bible study with some people at my work, and Dave attends a men’s Bible prayer breakfast. We are also part of a small group from our church that meets 2 times per month. But nothing substitutes for our own, individual studies…not just reading scripture, but truly studying it. The Lord may lead us to study a particular topic in His Word…or He may show us a particular book of the Bible to delve into. I like to listen to certain radio preachers (see below for some ones I like, if you are interested!) and one day one of them talked about how many times Scripture said, “But God…” Many of these were times that the Lord intervened in something. I have done a search in a Bible study program called e-sword and printed out the Scripture list. I would like to study through those, to see what my “But God…” might be.

Right now, while I am still working, there is not as much time available for me to do this very personal study along with the couple devotional and group Bible study. That is why this is an important item on my list for retirement. I hope even now, before you retire however, you make time for some sort of Bible Study and corporate worship time to keep you centered in the Lord…there is nothing like encouragement and accountability of other believers! Then, if you have time now OR if you must wait till retirement time, think about some individual Bible Study you would like to do, and put it on your list!

I know some of you reading this may not be Christian. I am not going to apologize for this blog, and I hope you will continue to follow my blog. If you are not a Christian, I do hope you will consider where you want to spend your eternal life…we all have everlasting life, but WHERE that eternal life will be is the thing to make sure you understand; please take the necessary steps to make that eternal destination be in heaven with the Lord Jesus Christ.

Take care…below are some resources and Scripture references for you if you aren’t sure how to be a Christian…it’s not about doing enough good stuff to earn eternal life. We just can’t do it. But Jesus did it for us! My prayer is that you will take Jesus up on His offer of eternal life with Him!

Mary

Radio Preachers and programs: Calvaryaurora.org, www.calvarysjc.com,  Insight.org, Focusonthefamily.com, Familylifetoday.com

Christian Radio Stations which run the programs above: KPOF 910 AM, KRKS 94.7 FM, GraceFM 89.7 FM (Denver) and check out the web for others.

Music – WAY FM 101.9 FM, KTLF 90.5 FM.

May of these also have online listing available!

Scripture references for salvation: Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23, John 14:6 and others. Go to gotquestions.org and type in “What is the way of salvation” for a great article with further info!

Bible resources: Free download of multiple versions of the Bible including some commentary at https://www.e-sword.net/

Time for health

Hello! Glad you are back! I hope you are stirring with our own ideas by now to help make every day, whether in retirement or not, full of joy and purpose!

My trip to Roatan was really an eye-opener to me for my retirement preparation journey. I suppose that is in part because I finally got to start writing these blog entries, so my thoughts began coming clearer and faster. By the way, writing not only your list, but perhaps writing or dictating an actual journal, might be good for you to consider too, to sort out your swirling thoughts! If you don’t like it after a couple of weeks, no worries. What helps me may not be your cup of tea, and that is OK!

But one other thing that was rather eye-opening is related to my health. I am “generally” healthy, and I like to learn about and implement natural methods of health maintenance and healing. But, I know I have a lot more to learn, (and some issues and bad habits to break) and so my list contains learning about essential oils, herbalism, healthy eating, exercising and other health-related topics.

When I arrived in Roatan, I had a large amount of swelling in my right leg. I thought it was just leftover from the plane ride. But on our 3rd full day there, I was walking around and found not only was my leg swollen, but I was having pain in my ankle and foot. As I got back from my walk I thought I would just stop by the nurse’s office, figuring she would have an ace bandage for me for a sprained ankle. As she probed, no evidence of sprain, but she was concerned about the one-leggedness of my swelling. Since I had a small blood clot history, she was concerned, and through a lot of rigamarole, I ended up going to a clinic where the local folks go to get an ultrasound. Not my favorite day of the trip, but I was happy to hear no evidence of a blood clot. I was advised to drink more water, eat a little more protein, but nothing real definitive otherwise.

I decided to really observe my leg and how I felt generally, which I don’t normally have time to do. I largely stayed off of it the next morning – while swelling had gone down overnight, it swelled back up pretty much immediately after I got up. In the afternoon I tried a short walk, and my ankle started hurting again. I wanted to do a tour at the end of the week, and I feared that was out if I couldn’t walk.

Then, I decided to experiment. I am not one to wear flip flops generally, but I had to get some because the sandals I had brought were not working since they were too tight due to the swelling. I decided to try my tennis shoes again and took a walk. Voile! No more ankle pain! Apparently non-support plus holding onto shoes with my toes does not agree with me, causing foot and ankle pain! Swelling was still there, but at least I could walk…and do my tour at the end of the week! All because I had the time, and made it count, to observe my own health and symptoms!

Do you have any health issues, or at least things you would like to improve, that will benefit from mindful observation of yourself? Make sure to put it on your list…and preferably start doing that now as much as you can, even before you retire if you aren’t there yet…so that when you DO retire, it is as healthy as it can be!

Take care, Mary

Time to notice and enjoy things

Hello and so glad you are here!

I hope you read my June 26, 2018 blog because I learned another lesson that stems off of the one I talked about there. That is, while as I said I do need some structure, I am enjoying the ability to stop and notice things! My working life right now is mostly hurry up and get one thing done, and another, and another, with a bunch of interruptions from e-mails, phone calls, meetings and “drive-bys” as I try accomplish the things I need to do. That has created for me a challenging career which has kept me interested for a lot of years, but now I am ready to ratchet down from that. While still in Roatan, as I went out to the gazebo to start writing and walked across the board walk, I looked down at the water and saw at least 5 different kinds of fish! I have looked a bit when I came here before but didn’t see what I saw today! VERY COOL! Now I would finally get to join the divers looking at the fish charts in the dining room to get the names of my discoveries!

I also met a woman who was on her morning “walk-about” as she put it – and after we talked for a couple of minutes, I watched her walk, look, enjoy, and that reinforced my realization that, in spite of my need for a structure, I need to be sure to “look up” or “out” or wherever is beyond my nose, so I don’t miss the wonders around me. I don’t want my structure to be my ultimate purpose, but I want enjoyment of life and appreciation and thankfulness to the Lord who provided it all, to be my purpose!

Everywhere there is nature’s beauty in some form; or people to talk to, or thoughts to ponder, or conversations with God to have. Be sure to include those things in your list…they are what make things worthwhile!

Take care and take time to smell the roses, as they say!
Mary

To have structure, or not, that is the question!

Hello, everyone! I promised something a little lighter this time, so here goes!

As I mentioned earlier, I am writing these initial blogs from Roatan! Dave is a fish, er, uh, a scuba diver! I am, well let’s just say I definitely am NOT! This particular trip is at a resort that is diver centric…the resort has its own boats that go out twice a day, every day, all part of the package! I have to admit when we first arrived, I was a bit disappointed…it isn’t as “posh” as some of the resorts we have been to, and, knowing I would be hanging around entertaining myself while Dave was diving, I kind of wondered what I was to do. Getting out to do other activities is possible, but not quite as accessible as in other places we have been.

However, after a couple of days I melded into the diver lifestyle…not as in actual diving (remember, I do not put my head underwater!), but in the culture of the people here. This isn’t a place people come to impress each other with their cute wetsuits and model figures. These have turned out to be real people, mostly middle- to senior- aged people just having fun (my kind of people – one thing about being close to or in retirement age for many people, I think, is freedom to be yourself and not have to impress or compare…probably another blog topic!). The only younger people are teens who are very polite and well behaved. The staff are all so friendly and there are beautiful spots for me to walk, take my computer, and write, read and research and just watch the beautiful ocean.

But, in spite of all of this, I am finding that while I am definitely enjoying the temporary respite from the stress of my job, and while I love having the time and freedom to read, write, etc. as I want to, I think I need more structure than this. Especially while I am waiting for Dave to come back from his dives, I am trying to make my plan and choose my spot from among many lovely ones (I know, tough problem to have!) to do what I am going to do. Then if I get done or get tired of that activity sooner than I expect, then I am trying to decide “now what?”

So, I think this is God’s way of showing me that I will still need some level of structure at least most of the time when I retire.

I have a few things on my list that I think should help me in this (if you are just joining this blog, please go back and read at least the May 20 and June 1, 2018 blogs (See “Previous posts” link on this site) so you know what “the list” is, because I don’t want you to get lost in that question! LOL!).   Those things I would like to do include:

• Every other week, each of my husband or I will plan for some particular activity for us both to share
• Cooking meals as a joint activity, with each planning some of the meals (perhaps we can even take a cooking class!)
• Exercise plans, including walking and weight work outs at least 3-4 times a week
• Planned Bible study and devotionals both together and individual.

I guess the key to these things is some level of consistency but with lots of room for spontaneity too, individually and as a couple. However, one thing I know I do NOT want is a schedule so full I yearn for the good old days of work!  I want…just enough!

Think about your own needs – do you like total spontaneity every day, or do you expect you will like some structure?

There’s a lot of detail to think about to this retirement preparation thing, isn’t there?!  And, as we talked about in the blog on June 5, 2018, also in planning what we want to do in ALL phases of our life! But it is fun to think about and plan…that is why we are on this journey together!

Have a great day – see you next time!
Mary

More on kids and grandkids

Welcome!

Last time, I talked some about one of my retirement ideas of more purposefully spending time with my daughters and granddaughters.
I wanted to delve into that one a little bit more because I think it is so important. In this day and age of crazy schedules, families going 10 different directions at all points of the day and night, and everyone just trying to make a life and a living, I feel that this connection is essential.

In the craziness of everyday life, we can all tend to feel isolated, afraid to admit uncertainties and outright fear. I remember feeling that way often, even though I did have a fantastic Mom who was always there for me until she passed away when I was 35. I am so glad to be here for my girls and grandgirls and try to be for them what my Mom was for me. I want to be there to listen, offer them hope and perspective from my longer time at this living business. I want to be open to them about my experiences in preparing for, and actual, retirement, both from the financial preparation perspective AND the emotional and expectation perspective, so that hopefully they learn from my positive and negative steps toward that phase in my life, and from all phases of my life.

I know how much I miss my Mom even now, and how much I wish I had more years with her. My family is not extremely long-lived, so I don’t have many expectations of living to 100. Therefore, I can’t be waiting and putting off these opportunities to make sure my daughters and granddaughters know their history and their strengths, hearing some suggestions on handling adversity and just knowing they aren’t alone on the journey. But, definitely to one reader’s point, getting those times together can be tricky, just due to the craziness of life! I think our best bet is to be very intentional and plan ahead as much as possible…even then of course, flexibility will be key!

Today was a little heavier than most blogs…but I felt this was important food for thought. I think it is our responsibility to provide a listening ear along with imparting both the good and bad of our experiences to our children and grandchildren so they can look back when something is going on for them and know that someone understood.

Next time, a little lighter, I promise!
Mary

Purpose with children and grandchildren

Hello again! I am glad you are back!

I thought today I would home in on another “purpose” idea that is big for me as I am sure it is for you if you have children and/or grandchildren; that is, being more engaged with them when I have more time.

We have two adult daughters and two granddaughters, one about to leave her teenage years, and one just entering them. First of all, how in the world did that even happen? LOL! I don’t believe I am old enough to have an almost 20 year old granddaughter…but I digress…(bet some of you wonder this same thing!)

We are lucky to have both of our daughters and granddaughters and son-in-law live close to us. We do see each other every little bit, and I go to my granddaughters’ events as often as I can. I communicate with my daughters at least by e-mail or text every day, and phone calls at least a few times a month. We all get along great, and I now consider my adult daughters to be my best friends. That is such a blessing because well, truth be told, while they were great kids overall, a few years were rough for us…and I am grateful we all came through it with the close relationship we all have with each other!

But, I would like to be able to actually SEE my daughters more often. Together and one-on-one. Family gatherings are wonderful, but it is hard to really talk to any one of them in depth when everyone is all together. They do seek my thoughts on many  situations, and I appreciate that…but actually being together individually will really help to home in on that ability so it isn’t as forced. I feel like I now have a bit more wisdom to impart, but it doesn’t come out well, and doesn’t get perceived well, when it is all a data-dump of ideas all at once. So, I intend to intentionally have more specific face time get togethers with them.

I would like to do the same thing with our granddaughters. Being 6 years apart, the are definitely in different worlds from each other, so again, one-to-one will definitely be more fruitful. I look forward to just hanging out, talking, doing some things together, and helping them to talk through their “stuff” and hopefully being able to learn from my own story. After all, while it is a different world I grew up in, I was a kid and a teenager once! And sometimes us grandparents can have an influence that parents can’t. I want to help support my daughter and son-in-law in their goals for their daughters.

So, my “purpose” will include more intentional relationship growth with both our daughters and granddaughters. Whether your children and/or grandchildren are local to you or not, I encourage you to think of ways to communicate with them regularly, face to face as often as possible, and through text, e-mail, phone and even perhaps Skype in between times. We have a lot of good experiences to share, and we need to pass along our family heritage to them.

So far, this “purpose” thing is looking good, but more ideas are bubbling in my head!

Have a great day!
Mary

Learning about Us

I hope you are enjoying this blogging journey! I welcome your thoughts, questions, feedback, cool ideas you have come up with, any roadblocks you have experienced in getting your notebook list going…or just anything! The fun of these blogs is in the exchange of ideas…everyone’s experience is different, and everyone has valuable input, and I want this to be your journey, too! Please remember, though to be respectful of each other’s thoughts even if you disagree (and to mine too, please!) Thanks, and looking forward to your input.

Today I wanted to begin talking about my need to still have purpose in my retirement. I have always been goal-oriented and I don’t expect that to change just because I am not driving to a job every day. My goal is not just to have time fillers, but to accomplish something for myself, for my husband and me as a couple and for my children and grandchildren, and for my church and friends.

That should keep me busy! Lots of places/ways I want to continue to have purpose!

For today, I want to start homing in on “purpose” for Dave and me as a couple, since I believe this will be very important to pay attention to so we both have a fulfilling retirement. We have spent a lot of years together, but most of them started out each day getting up, getting kids ready to go, getting ourselves ready to go work, coming home, getting dinner together, getting kids to activities and making sure homework was done…etc, etc. You know the drill! Except maybe on vacation weeks, there wasn’t a lot of just time to be together…to talk about US…to realize who “US” was.

When Dave and I are both retired, our schedule will be completely different. Actually, Dave just retired at the end of 2017, so he is working through his own change of circumstances even now. I will talk about that in a later blog. But it is different for me…it is hard for me right now to be the only one who “has to get out” in the morning first thing. Some of the house chores are in flux as we try to figure out what makes sense now. So, our very basic “who are we as a couple” discussions have started, and we have had interesting conversations from the “just retired and figuring it out” perspective, and from the “I can’t wait till it’s my turn” perspective. But, who we are is about more than who does what chore…so I am excited to see where those conversations lead us. Not surprisingly (at least, I hope by this point in our blogging journey together you would expect this), Dave and I getting to know each other more deeply especially in this new and upcoming phase of life, is one thing on my list. It is something I am both excited and perhaps a little nervous about! Excited because I see a richer depth to our relationship. Nervous because change and baring feelings is always a bit nerve-wracking, no matter how close you are to someone!

If you have a spouse, I hope your list includes learning more about each other during this new and exciting period in your lives! If you don’t have a spouse, I hope  your list includes further-developing your closest relationships!

Till next time,
Mary

My WHY

Hello! I hope you have been having fun brainstorming, and adding to, your list of things you want to do when you retire. Remember to not judge anything that pops into your head…go ahead and write it down! You aren’t committed to anything in that notebook….but you never know just what idea(s) will be golden for you!

Today, though, I am going to switch gears away from creating our list, and talk about the reasons why I, at least, realized I NEEDED my list.
As my mindset started to shift into “this is getting real, now…I think this is only about 2 years away!” I was excited! The fact that I expected to retire in less than 2 years at that time, came up in my conversations with people. Some of those people were already retired, and they said “oh that’s exciting!” Some of those people were farther away from that milestone than I was at the time, and they said “oh, that’s great…” with less enthusiasm. As I said last time, I know that is because they were wistfully wishing they could be saying the same! I get it! But then the next question almost inevitably from either of those types of people was, “So, what are you going to do when you retire?”

Wow that was a loaded question for me! Because that is when I realized it wasn’t just that I wasn’t going to be going to a job every day… there was going to be a lot of time to fill up!

So, I usually came up with the lame, standard answers of “travel more, see my grandchildren more…” etc. All worthy goals, but really, I did NOT expect to travel to exotic places every other week and see my children and grandchildren in the weeks in between! I love my children and grandchildren, but I don’t want to wear out my welcome with them by clinging too much, either! I want us all to be excited to see each other when we get together, and not have anyone thinking “here we go again!” LOL!

That is why I realized I wanted better answers to give people to that question “what are you going to do?” I needed to get beyond my brain freeze when I couldn’t come up with those fleeting thoughts I had had over the years, but never wrote down. That meant I had to think about it and take an action to preserve those thoughts and keep on doing that, so that those thoughts were ready for me when it was time to IMPLEMENT!

And now, I am only a few months from that time, so my excitement is REALLY growing now!

I hope my sharing this reason will help you find your reason to brainstorm!

Take care,
Mary